If you have already made the decision to get a divorce, you must now deal with the task of informing those closest to you, such as your parents, siblings, and even close friends. These conversations are going to be difficult and emotional, but they will be nowhere near as challenging as the one you have with your children. The initial conversation you have with them will have a profound impact on their lives, so it is crucial to handle this with care and attention.
Here are some tips that will help you talk to your children about your impending divorce:
- Be a team: Even though you will no longer be married, you and your soon-to-be former spouse will always be parents to your children. For this reason, it is important to have this important conversation with them together, as a team. Stay focused on your children rather than on the issues that led to your divorce, so you can avoid getting involved in a heated argument or finger-pointing. Remember, this conversation is for your children, so try to set aside the anger or resentment you might feel toward your spouse.
- Choose an appropriate time: Deciding when to tell your children is an important part of this process. Pick a time that gives your children the opportunity to cope with and process this information. Do not tell them before they go to bed or before you leave for work. Consider telling them on a Friday before the weekend, so they have a couple of days to think about it and come to you for follow-up discussions.
- Emphasize these key points: When talking to your children about your divorce, there are some key points you need to drive home. Make sure they understand that there was nothing they could have done to change the outcome and that you will both still love them, regardless of the status of your marriage. It might seem like common sense to you, but it is a very real fear for your children.
- Give them any of the details they should know: Your children do not need to know every little detail about your divorce, but they should know any of the aspects that might personally affect them. For example, if one of you is planning to move out of the family home, let them know where and how often they might be able to visit. If you do not know the answers to some of their questions, tell them you will let them know once you find out. Be honest and open, but do not explain to them the details of why you are getting divorced. It will be unnecessarily painful.
After this initial conversation, you should expect to have more follow-ups, so be ready for any their questions and concerns. Together, you can get through this.
Call a Compassionate Divorce Attorney Today!
If you and your spouse are getting divorced, you will need an experienced and skilled legal advocate on your side to help get you through it. At Letterio, Shedden & Haug, LLP, we are committed to guiding clients through the divorce process, so they can begin a new chapter in life.
Call us today at (845) 203-0997 to schedule a case review.